Toilet Humour

We were shopping yesterday, trying to find a funky beaded curtain for our back door, which opens into the garden.  This is required to help deter pesky flies and the like from zooming round our home and causing havoc.  You can imagine, with three agile young mogs around, anything that moves, zooms, buzzes, etc is fair game and we often have them jumping around, trying the catch the pesky things.  The mogs will jump on anything to catch them, even on top of bookcases and the like, often scattering ornaments all over.   Very funny at times, but I just don't much care for having these creatures inside when they should be outside!!  I am meaning the flies.

Anyway, seems everyone else around here has the same idea, 'cos last week there were loads of these beaded curtains for sale in one of the local shops but they were all sold out.  So the hunt is still on.  Brother suggested making one of those mesh doors that some American people have.  Seems a good idea to me, so he can make me one, then!!  lol  

Junior spotted something that she wanted to buy.  A Groovy Chick alarm clock which has various alarm calls.  She got it, of course.  So, last night she was setting the thing up.  Put the alarm on to listen and then decided which tune she would like to be massaged with on leaving slumberland.    She sets it for 7.30am.  I suggest that this might be a tad early for her, seeing that it's the weekend.  "Nah, I'm always awake at the time anyway".  

Well, alarm goes off this  morning.....funky, disco-type tune blaring away.  Bet half the street could hear it...except Junior.  Eventually, it wakes her up and you can guess the rest.  Grumpy old thing:o))

And, talk of the devil...Mother rings me up to inform me that she has a problem.  I live the nearest to her.  All the other siblings have more sense and are hours away. 

"What's up?" I ask.  

"I can't go to the toilet" she tells me.  

"Can't you?" I ask...thinking the obvious and about to suggest prune juice... when she tells me that she has a wasps nest in her toilet!  By this she means the bathroom, not down the loo!

This is a new one on me.   Her bathroom is windowless  and so she has an extractor fan that comes on automatically when the light is switched on.  She needs the light on, can't manage in the dark.  Well, it seems that every time the extractor comes on, down come a number of angry wasps hell bent on revenge...and if you're sat on the loo then what a target!!!

Can you believe it?  Council won't come out until after the weekend to remove them from the vent.  I told them that Mother is nearly 80 years old and needs to go to the loo before Monday!!   And, if she has a heart attack due to being dive-bombed while doing what comes naturally then they're in for it!!   One of the old gents kindly came along to her aid and has sealed the vent off with plastic bin liners and packing tape, but not until he emptied a whole can of wasp killer up there first. 

Hope it lasts until Monday!