Rat Bag

There was I, cleaning out and refilling the cat litters that are housed in the lean-to/garden room.  Long, boring job.  Cats Best litter, bin liners, poly roll, lavender and orange smelling Dettol, mop and bucket and iTunes..all at the ready.    Junior won't do this task, even though half the mogs are hers...unless she is rewarded handsomely and I cross her palm with a ridiculous amount of money.  (Last time she wangled twenty quid out of me for fifteen minutes work. )  No minimum wage for that one!

So, instead of giving Ms Trump I am hard at work and the mogs wander in and eye me up..  I know this behaviour.  It's called 'hovering and then going for it'.  They dive into the cleaned out litters and leave me a 'present' now and again..instead of waiting until I'm finished!  It's like...'Hurry up...I'm desperate..sorry, gotta go!'   lol

Well, I am nearly done.  Last litter just to put down.  I turns round, distracted by some Junior question.  Then..the 'aroma'.   Oh shit....not again!

Then, I spot it and her!    Muppet..by name and muppet by nature..has kindly left a pressie...where the litter usually is.  Arghhhhhhhhhhhhh!  Well, at least it was 'firm' and not like 'soup' this time!    She hasn't been well lately and I thought she was 'on her way out', if you get my meaning.  Rasping with her breathing, snoring, dribbling and crapping 'outside the box'.  I put it down to imminent departure time and have been spoiling her rotten and she's been milking it for all its worth.  I hate smug cats sometimes.   Sigh.   Well, think she has developed nodules in her nose and that explains her 'noise'.  She has the Darth Vader sound!  You can hear her Darth Vadering around the house.

Anyway, before I can get myself together, she stares at me as she wanders off into the house and gives the 'Can't get the staff' look.  Ooooooooooooooooo!
Rat Bag aka Darth Vader is at the back.

Big Poo

I am on the warpath!!

Some dog has crapped on the pavement outside our house and the idle git of an owner couldn't be bothered to bend their lazy back and clear it up! Dirty bugger.
I am not talking Yorkshire Terrier size turds....nooooooo......they are donkey sized!!
Now, I could go OT and get bro to install the cctv cameras that came with him this time to cop the culprit if he/she does it again:o...or.....do I inform the local dog warden that we have a phantom pooper and let them do the detective work? They advertise their services in the neighbourhood rag and seem keen on bagging these people....plus this is part of what I pay Council Tax for, isn't it?
Wonder if nosey neighbour has noticed? Bet she could ID the pooper.
Still, it is pretty rude, leaving dog poo. Even if we walk our pooch in fields, etc, I always clear ours up. Who wants to go walking through a poo bombsite?
Ack!!