The Joys of Animal Ownership Part 2 - Puking

That retching sound!  Not something you want to hear at 4am...especially if it's under the bed!

You can hear them starting with the gloop, gloop, gloop.  So, I race towards the noise and try and usher the little vomit freak to somewhere more suitable re; more easily wipeable surface.  Sigh...  They don't have favourite 'puking sites'.  Anywhere will do, although they often try to camouflage their 'present' against the rug or carpet..or under a chair.   If they've 'chameleoned' it then chances are you'll put your foot in it!  Ack.

And the vomiting?  It's usually due to over stuffing or fur balls.  The latter are mank!  So we groom them alot.

Yesterday evening I felt sorry for Darth Vader and opened her a tin of tuna.  She sucks on her food nowadays and I thought mushed up fish would be ok for her.  It was.  She ate a bit and Tinks had a bit. The others weren't bothered.  Anyway, I turns my back for a minute and it was all gone.  Hmmm...one of the others must have eaten it.

Five minutes later, I can hear the gloop, gloop, gloop coming from the lounge and there they were.  Two nice piles of nice, warm bleurgh....courtesy of the dog!     Greedy little toerag had burgled the tuna from behind my back.   She thinks cat food is nicer than her Senior Dog Food and so will nick it before eating her own.  From now on, she's barred to the other side of the dog gate until feline feeding time is over.

Feeding time leads on  to the next.   The Joys of Animal Ownership Part 3 - The Pecking Order.

The Joys of Animal Ownership, Part 1...Bullying

It goes on everywhere.  It sucks, as they say...especially in the feline world.

Well, Spook..one of the Old Ladies, is a cantankerous little sod, I have to say.  But, she is just set in her ways.  However, some of the younger mogs delight in 'ambushing' her.    Let me say that this does her no good....16 year old heart and all that....and she poops herself when they do that to her.    So, I am protective of her...and her sis Darth Vader..(.but she is much more wiley and streetwise and has the others 'sussed and under control'.  :o)))  )   Muppet.aka Darth Vader, is a skinny little thing.  Spook is not.  Think basketball on legs.   Spook sleeps at my side on the bed.  Protection for her..and I don't blame her.   The others usually prefer to be at the foot of or under the bed.  Popeye will do his best to harass her, if he's about.  He is just a naughty, loveable boy.   Tinks likes to ambush en-route to or from the litter.  Spook isn't fussed.  She'll crap anywhere!!  Bowels aren't what they used to be!!

So, I am on a mission for 'A peaceful night's sleep'.    If I separate the 'unruly' lot from the 'goodies' then there is pandemonium.  PARTAY!!!  If I let them kip together, then my day starts at 5am.   To any feline lover...that is......litter time!!...and then all the house is awake!  Arghh.  To any Rheumatoid Arthritis sufferer....anyone who interrupts your kip (unless it's your bladder and co')...then......grrrrr.

I would not be bothered in the slightest if we lived in a detached house.....if only.......  The mogs just like to play....at the wrong time of day, of course!  It's just how it is.   We can hear our neighbours all the time. They don't see it that way, though.

Tip:   If you, for some reason, find yourself 'with kitten'....DON'T fall for the 'Oh, Mummy, can we keep them all...I'LL LOOK AFTER THEM..PROMISE!'  Pah!

The Joys of Animal Ownership.  Part 2 coming up....puking!  Bleurgh!!!

Rat Bag

There was I, cleaning out and refilling the cat litters that are housed in the lean-to/garden room.  Long, boring job.  Cats Best litter, bin liners, poly roll, lavender and orange smelling Dettol, mop and bucket and iTunes..all at the ready.    Junior won't do this task, even though half the mogs are hers...unless she is rewarded handsomely and I cross her palm with a ridiculous amount of money.  (Last time she wangled twenty quid out of me for fifteen minutes work. )  No minimum wage for that one!

So, instead of giving Ms Trump I am hard at work and the mogs wander in and eye me up..  I know this behaviour.  It's called 'hovering and then going for it'.  They dive into the cleaned out litters and leave me a 'present' now and again..instead of waiting until I'm finished!  It's like...'Hurry up...I'm desperate..sorry, gotta go!'   lol

Well, I am nearly done.  Last litter just to put down.  I turns round, distracted by some Junior question.  Then..the 'aroma'.   Oh shit....not again!

Then, I spot it and her!    Muppet..by name and muppet by nature..has kindly left a pressie...where the litter usually is.  Arghhhhhhhhhhhhh!  Well, at least it was 'firm' and not like 'soup' this time!    She hasn't been well lately and I thought she was 'on her way out', if you get my meaning.  Rasping with her breathing, snoring, dribbling and crapping 'outside the box'.  I put it down to imminent departure time and have been spoiling her rotten and she's been milking it for all its worth.  I hate smug cats sometimes.   Sigh.   Well, think she has developed nodules in her nose and that explains her 'noise'.  She has the Darth Vader sound!  You can hear her Darth Vadering around the house.

Anyway, before I can get myself together, she stares at me as she wanders off into the house and gives the 'Can't get the staff' look.  Ooooooooooooooooo!
Rat Bag aka Darth Vader is at the back.

What goes around....and all that

The weather's bonkers!

Last week it was really hot, yesterday we had loads of snow up here in the Hill Billies and now today..it's all gone.

The garden room roof is leaking. The cat litters are kept there and two just happened to be a direct hit for the leak! So, we now have trays of a concrete like substance...which I am tempted to use in a not so nice fashion!!!...see below...

I wish I could be as clever as the kid in Home Alone and think up ingenious traps for intruders. The other morning, I was in the back garden with arthriticky dog and two blokes came out of next door's back gate. This isn't that unusual as they have 'workmen associates' in now and again. They had walked up and down next door's garden and on coming out saw me and asked if I had any scrap metal. You know where this is going, don't you? Yes, turns out they had nicked a load of stuff , including a tv. Junior came down and told me that she'd just been in her bedrom and spotted them shinnying up our fence to, presumably, see what they could get but were confronted by half a dozen hissing, pissed-off mogs...(they growl when strangers are about/too close - they're great little warning 'machines. Bart (who is HUGE!) will actually 'bat' you one around the ear hole as you go past him, if he's up on a shelf or bookcase. lol) The thieves broke the top of our fence. Hope their bits drop off...and that it's very painful!!! When I asked not so nice neighbour about it, I got my head bitten off. Think she left her downstairs window open and so that's how they'd have got the tv, after having legged up over the gate and unbolting it. Not sure if she's reported it, though. Probably not. Anyway, I shall tell the police about it, as they tried to tresspass on our property and I have Junior to think about. Never see a cop about nowadays, though. What's the betting that I have to make an appointment to report the incident?

The hedge is definitely staying put. I think I have made my point re security. Hedges...prickly and not easy to climb over...v Fences...easy peasy to get over.

Junior has been given some of those decorated Easter egg type of decorations that you hang on twig arrangements....like you see in the flower shops, etc. They're in Cath Kidston colours..sort of. So, she'll be out today, foraging in our NEWLY TIDIED AND PLANTED UP back garden for the appropriate sized twiglets. Bet the display doesn't last over Easter and that tonight we will hear the sounds of the eggs being ping-ponged around the house by the Usual Suspects....Bart, Tinks, Popeye and Olive. You can almost hear them asking 'Anyone for a game of doubles?' lol

Meanwhile, I'm going to electrify the fence! We've also got loads of big paint pots. Wonder if I could rig some up as in Home Alone...so that next time Junior spots the Tea Leafs she can launch them for, hopefully, a direct hit on somewhere that hurts!!

Training

Bart is doing really well in the 'retrieve' game. Trouble is, he is now bored. instead of catching his catnip mouse and delivering it to his mistresses's feet, he has decided that the 'let's play cricket' game is much more fun. Trouble is, he bats many a boundary....but it usually ends up behind some piece of 'heavy' furniture.Then...all the mogs descend....me me me me me......

Went to the council today. We are no 12 on the allotment waiting list. We should be way higher because we went in, week after week to register for a plot, but the office was always closed. Bah humbug!

Amazing....daughter just asked me what 'bah humbug' means. I can't be that 'miserable' at Christmas, then!!...can I? lol

Son no 1 always refers to himself as 'child no 3'when he phones. Pathetic attempt in the sympathy dept. 'Tis a game we play. lol What do I want for Crrimble? he asks. I say that £5 is the limit for any pressie. So, wonder what we'll end up with? Much more exciting when you have to be more inventive.

Dish clothes for everyone, then! lol

Catnip...our saviour

When Mother moved, she took Jimmy with her. He is her cat and stayed with us for two years until she could find somewhere to live where [pets are allowed..... and she did and so he went with her.

Well, she thinks 'cos she's an old git (her words, not mine) that he must be! "Oh, he's an old kitty now."....sympathetic look....blah.

Well, Jim lad has other ideas. He's a STUD!!!!! Taraaaaa! Likes to play and whizz about like a loon..just like my lot.....(we taught him well and wished we had videod it!).

So, Junior made him a catnip mouse as a leaving pressie and diligently cut out the material, made a litle sack for the catnip, stuffed it into the mouse 'costume', shoved stuffing in and sewed the whole lot up. Didn't look bad at all and I was even even thinking of adding it to my little craft shop. All was going well until Tinks decided that she'd quite like a catnip mouse...and so commenced the steal......

Jimmy's litle pressie was, of course, hi-jacked...and lost. So, tonight, after aforememntioned toy was rediscovered, we put it to the test.

We are a pair of geniuses/ii?

Have managed to get Bart 'the night owl' to 'fetch'. Been chucking the catnip mouse for him and he has been retrieving....for about half an hour, other following.... V cute to watch. Mog puffing his chest out like Macho Cat and one who is now very definitely pooped and out for 'the night'. Super stud! lol

Result! Only 10 partying tonight!

23.39 and I am surrounded by snoring mogs:o)))

Strange

All the mogs are in. It is 11pm....and dark.



But. they are growling, even Mr Quiet Guy Jimbob, .....at something going off outside.

The dogs at the smallholding up the road are barking, too.



Spooky.